The Wasteland Ranger HQ-Grid
|page update: June 17, AD 2004|
Welcome to the funnier side of the Wasteland. Granted, deadly mutated
lizards, fatal doses of radiation and jammed Uzis in the heat of battle
aren't what most would call "funny." However, this page is dedicated to
the lighter side of the desert wastes, as told by Rangers who've survived
to tell--and laugh at--the tales.
Contents: Comm Center and send it along. If it can make Covenant laugh, I'll add it to these pages!
We begin with a submission by the enigmatic "V" who submits this list:You're a Wasteland Junkie if....
More from V..."Top 10 things to do to piss off people in Wasteland" 10. Defile someone's dead relative, and claim you shot apart his tombstone because you thought you saw a Deadel.
9. While walking close to Darwin, "accidently" have a pal scout a little off to the side, to go check out that weird green glow in the distance. (muhahaha!)
8. Hire a three-legged prostitute to give a "friend" Wasteland Herpes on his birthday.
7. Accuse a kid's beloved dog of having rabies, and immediately execute it there on the spot, then ask for a "thank you" for saving him from contamination of hydrophobia.
6. Trip and fall in a stream, and immediately gun down anybody you see snickering at your misfortune, claiming it was justified.
5. While in Darwin Base, trip someone and make them land in the Humungous Coyote cage.
4. Tell everybody your friend is a hobo, and he'll have visions of the future, just to get some free squeezin's.
3. Take apart your cyborg friend and throw his pieces in the sewers.
2. Nominate your friend to deliver the "We Come In Peace!" message when you're about to storm the Citadel, convincing him that the flags are for the miniature-golf the monks play on weekends, and are no big deal.
1. Give someone the guided tour of Las Vegas...and immediately scamper off once you introduce them to the city's main attraction, the Scorpitron 6000 (with rotating turbo-plasma cannon! won't they be thrilled...)
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